Many women who have children are moving away from the idea that they cannot have a happy relationship until their children are older or quite possibly even out of the house. Modern single mothers are reclaiming their love lives and jumping back into the dating game. Unfortunately, they aren’t always as successful as they had hoped.
Here are the most common dating mistakes single moms make that prevent them from finding a good match.
1. Waiting Too Long to Start Dating
Just like all things in life, if you don’t do something for a while, you forget how to do it. This goes the same for dating. Whether you find yourself coming out of a long-term relationship, a divorce, or become a widow/widower, you don’t want to take too long to get back in the game. Now, we aren’t saying you shouldn’t take your time to grieve, but you also don’t want to wait a really long time, either.
A good idea is to start off slow. Go on group outings with other singles or attend activities that allow you to meet new people, but finding love isn’t necessarily the main focus. Another option is to join online dating. With online dating you can go at your own pace, there is no pressure, and you can talk to as many (or as few) singles as you’d like.
2. Too Serious Too Soon
Sometimes single moms feel like they have to find someone to provide that father figure role in their child’s life if the biological father is no longer in the picture. With this train of thought, these women tend to get into a serious relationship too quickly. On the rare chance, the relationship does last and both partners are happy. However, in most cases if you get too serious too soon, you won’t be able to truly get to know the guy. You don’t know if he is seriously in debt, if he has a secret life if he has any secret addictions… You just don’t know. When you take your time to date someone, you have a better chance of learning these things.
3. Dating Too Soon
You know how we said you don’t want to wait too long before you start dating again? You also don’t want to date too soon. Sure, there is no clear timeline as to when you should begin dating again after the father of your child is no longer around. You do want to wait until you are emotionally ready. Now, if you were the one that left the father, you may not even experience a “waiting” period; however, we like to say that you should wait a year first so that you can re-familiarize yourself with single-life—especially if you are a single mom.
4. Introducing the Kids too Soon
You’re a proud mother and you want to show off your little ones to the man that you’re seeing. However, you don’t want to bring him around your kids too soon. Not only because it may be uncomfortable for him, but it could be traumatic for your children—especially if they are older and they get along with the guy. Just imagine how heartbroken they would be if, after a few weeks of hanging out with this guy, he stops coming around because things didn’t work out? Yeah, they’ll feel like they were abandoned again by another man in their lives.
Dating can be tricky, especially for a single mother; however, it doesn’t have to be. When the time is right and the cards are in place, you could find the next great love of your life.